Mindfulness
The terms Mindful and Mindfulness fall into the category of words that are overused and the definitions are vague. The same may be said of Meditation. Yet Mindful Meditation is a practice that dates back millenia because on some level people have always known that there is great power in stillness and intentional deep breathing.
We might tell a friend to “take a deep breath” when they are upset by a life situation. Alcoholics Anonymous tells us to “pause” prior to speaking or acting. One might be advised to “stop and smell the roses.” These are simply expressions used as a reminder to be here now, to be aware right now, to mobilize the intention to be present in this moment.
Our minds are always proliferating, with thoughts of what was and what might be, pulling us into the past or future. But we are not our thoughts, they are simply mental energies that come and go if we allow them. There is no way to change the past and no point to predicting the future, there is only the present moment in which we exist. And being aware of this and gently detaching from thoughts can be so liberating and empowering.
It is not a quick fix for anything, but after practicing mindfulness regularly, you will notice that you feel more grounded, less likely to overreact or follow unhealthy thought patterns.
I found that starting with a 5 minute twice daily session of finding a quiet spot and breathing slowly in and out through the nose was quite doable. It is often suggested that one breath in to the count of 4, hold it for 4 and then exhale to the count of 5. This is a simple way to begin to be present and step away from all of life’s distractions. And if you just prefer to stick with the breathing, great! Over time, as you increase the time spent, eventually you will look forward to it.
The breathing practice is a good foundation to begin meditation if you choose. I like guided meditations sometimes and there are really accessible and easy apps such as “Ten Percent Happier” or “Calm” or “Headspace” that offer a variety of guided meditations. These can be 5-30 minutes, depending upon your preference.
Other times you might choose to meditate on your own and just set a timer. One need not suppress unpleasant thoughts or emotions, but rather acknowledge that they are there and then come back to the breathing.
This is not always easy. I often have to bring my attention back to the present moment when I realize I have become lost in the stories my mind creates. But like anything we practice, the benefits accrue the longer we do it.
Imagine if we could all stop and breathe before reacting to everything life throws at us; if we could remember that all we really have is this moment.
And for those internal critics that live in our heads, just realize that they are old unhealthy mental pathways and really hold no power. One meditation instructor I admire had an approach to this. When he started to hear all the inner criticisms being thrown at him he would say “Welcome to the party. Everyone is welcome, you can just sit over there in the corner while I continue to appreciate this moment”. A little humor goes a long way toward taking the power away from these thoughts.
In fact, not taking ourselves too seriously is a wonderful thing. We have thought patterns left over from the past, often the distant past, that can slowly be replaced with better thoughts. Thoughts are demands for attention that need not be obeyed.
A helpful metaphor is to imagine the mind is like the sky. Clouds and storms (like thoughts) pass through, airplanes and birds come and go, but the sky remains, unchanged.
One can be mindful while eating, while walking, while sitting, while gardening, etc. Simply appreciate the moment you are in.
As one meditator pointed out: “If it’s not happening right now, then it’s not happening!” Stay right in the present, observing your body as it breathes, or what your senses are experiencing: the sound of cicadas at night, the taste of a delicious peach, the sensation of a soft garment on your skin.
Ten quiet minutes set aside in the middle of a busy day can do wonders to calm the chatter in our minds.
Recent studies have shown that a Mindful Meditation practice can lower blood pressure and decrease symptoms of depression and anxiety.
If you are interested, any of the following books would be excellent for beginning a Mindfulness Meditation Practice.
- Real Happiness: A 28 day program to realize the power of meditation, by Sharon Salzberg
- Mindfulness for Beginners: Reclaiming the present moment and your life, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
- How to Meditate: A practical guide to making friends with your mind, by Pema Chodron
- Mindfulness: A practical guide to awakening, by Joseph Goldstein
